New Moon Alternate Ending: Never Forget
by Andrew Fisher15
Summary: She wouldn't forget their screams... Team Jacob, with alternate rules. Bella takes control of her life and becomes part of the wolf pack.
1. Chapter 1

I feel a few words of explanation are in order before you read the on. Firstly, I mean no offense to Mrs. Meyer, but I while I highly like parts of the "Twilight" series, I seriously dislike others. Secondly, in this ficlet, some of the standard werewolf/vampire rules, such as seen in UnderWorld, are the ones being followed (Namely, being bitten by a werewolf turns a human into one.). Thirdly, while I am trying to write the characters as 'in character' as I can, I do know that they will be very different from the books.

Put bluntly, this tiny ficlet is everything I liked about New Moon with everything that I disliked altered to how I would have liked it.

* * *

"Sure thing." The waitress smiled cheerfully. "Should be just a few minutes." She headed back to the kitchen, walking quickly and carefully.

Lauren. That was her name. She didn't seem to remember me—but I couldn't really blame her. It'd been a while since Edward and I had stopped by and had a late dinner. That is, I had dinner and Edward sat watching. She had been working that evening, but her hair was shorter then…

It's a strange thing, memory. I've tried so hard to memorize some things and recall them later, but failed completely. Other things… other things felt as though they were seared into my mind. I burned my hand once on the stove. It took only a split second, but a patch of my skin was literally cooked. I remember staring at the wound and wondering if it would ever go away.

This time, I don't want the burn to go away. I want to remember. I have to remember. The American couple—the man had dark brown hair, neatly trimmed. His girlfriend was wearing sunglasses propped up on her forehead, and the corners of her mouth were tugged up, as if she was grinning at some thought. The woman with the rosary, holding the cross; she had looked to be in her early forties. I remember a ring on her hand, but not which finger. She might have been married, might have had kids. They were probably high school age, like me. Studying algebra and Spanish or whatever they learned in Italian schools…

It doesn't really matter much, now. They were gone. Right about now most of their families probably are talking with police, contacting guards and officials, still calling cell phones that their now dead loved ones had been carrying. Killed. Every single one of them.

For lunch.

Somehow the thought hadn't bothered me so much, before. I guess I tricked myself into thinking that all vampires all were like the Cullens. They were all decent and kind and noble, like Edward. The rare exceptions became my image of the norm. I think I know now why veterans and police are the way they are. They've seen the worst. They've seen suffering and torment and grief and those who caused it without feeling any pain or remorse. That was why those people would die to fight it.

Quiet, padding footsteps approached and I looked up just in time to see him sit down across from me. My heart wrenched, and for a brief second, I wasn't sure. I didn't know if I really should do this.

"Hey." Jacob greeted me softly. On his face was a strange mixture… joy, uncertainty, and a strange sorrow. I forced a smile onto my face.

"It feels like it's been a few years," I commented, trying to make it sound like a joke, knowing full well that it had been less than a week. The attempt at normal conversation fell flat as soon as the words left my mouth, but I felt the need to try anyway. "How are you doing?" He still looked tired. The deep bags under his eyes were still there, the exhaustion hiding just under the surface.

"I'm better." He said quietly. "A little surprised, too. Sam thought I was lying for a few seconds when I told him."

"Ha." I shook my head, smirking every so slightly. Sam could hear his thoughts, but was so shocked he still thought Jake wasn't telling the truth. "Can't blame him."

"I'm sorry." He spoke suddenly. I met his eyes and he continued. "You shouldn't have had to see that. No one should." The sincerity in his voice was real, as was the grief tingeing his face. Looking at him, for a moment, I thought.... I thought that maybe he was more sorry about those people than I was.

Lauren chose that moment to return with my order, rolling a small cart along. Several steaks, a soup, two tall glasses of iced tea, a basket of rolls… she set it down and left, her genuine cheerfulness earning my jealously. Jake raised his eyebrows, unable to contain his surprise at all the food and fighting the urge to laugh.

I managed a real smile. "Hungry?" I asked, gesturing to the food, my meaning obvious.

"Always." He replied, picking a dish. "What's the occasion?"

"A Last Supper." I told him seriously, pausing for a sip of sweet tea. "Before I go and do something noble. Just like in the Bible." Jake took a massive bite of the roll before responding.

"Shouldn't you have invited a lot more people, if you were trying to mimic that?" He asked teasingly. "I'm sure Sam and Paul and Jared would be happy to help out—" I smacked him on the arm, making him burst out laughing.

"Hey, I barely had enough cash to pay for this." I informed him in mock anger. "But the main idea is the same." Jake held up his hands in surrender.

"Yeah, I get it. Don't attack me again," He told me, grinning. I lowered my hands and he relaxed, gulping down a huge piece of the steak with minimal chewing. I looked around again, trying to memorize every detail of everything and everyone. I wanted to remember this evening forever.

And I'd have forever to remember it.

* * *

"You don't have to do this." Jake warned me again as we approached the tree line. "I won't think any less of you if you change your mind, I promise."

"I said I would." I told him, trying to fight the weak, jittery feeling creeping up my back. I wondered slightly if Alice would still be my friend after this.

"People do things sometimes, on the spur of a moment, and regret them later." Jake countered. He was trying to be the good friend again, but I could see it on his face—the eagerness, the excitement.

I forced down the feeling of doubt. I knew what I was doing. I was sure of it. The old Bella had gone to Italy, still doubting herself, feeling like she could wreak everything up in an instant…

I wasn't that Bella. She had stayed behind, vanishing and crumbling away as the screams of those poor victims, murdered by the Volturi and their guards, wafted through the air.

"It'll be a lot faster for you than it was for me." Jake said, sounding like some sort of instructor. "But it will hurt. A lot."

"It's worth it." I stated, trying to sound entirely confidant. I remembered his earlier warning and removed my shoes, then tossed away my jacket. I was now wearing a sweatshirt and pants, with my nice cloths several blocks away in my truck, just in case. I turned away, squeezing my hands into fists. "Do it."

"You're sure?" He verified, again. I nodded.

"I have to." I told him again. "I can't just stand by, knowing what's happening. _I can't_."

"Okay." He said, the warning tone gone. "You want this. That's why I'll do it. No other reason." He fell silent.

"Thank you." I whispered. I heard a soft noise as cloth hit the ground. The air then abruptly whistled past me.

Directly behind me stood the enormous wolf, staring calmly at me, his head just above mine. I gingerly held out my arm, rolling back the sleeve. The anticipation of the pain was probably worse than what was going to happen. The huge jaws opened, and it took all my willpower not to run.

"Just do it." I said, closing my eyes. I could feel his breath, and pain suddenly shot through my arm. I stumbled back, holding my arm, warm blood dripping down to my fingertips. The throbbing pain suddenly flew up my arm like a jolt of electricity and grew worse. I opened my mouth to scream but lacked the strength to force the air out. The edges of my vision grew black and started growing as my knees gave way and the ground rushed up to meet me…

* * *

The room was bright, even with the shades closed. I blinked again, groggy, licking my lips, realizing how dry my mouth was.

"Good morning." A warm voice greeted me. I rolled over enough to see Jacob sitting at my desk. He gestured to the glass filled with pink liquid next to him. "Care for some gatorade?" I forced myself into a sitting position. I was still wearing the same sweats as that night. I glanced at my right arm, half expecting to see torn flesh—

—it was perfect. I couldn't control the grin spreading on my face.

"You might want to take it easy at first." Jacob warned. I laughed and experimentally picked up my bed, raising it entirely off the ground with one hand.

"It worked." I crowed. "It worked completely." I had plenty of hard work ahead of me, but I was rejoicing for the moment. "Wow!"

"You didn't phase after you collapsed." Jacob tried to get my attention. "So, you really should keep a change of cloths in your backpack. If you started feeling ill, you need to get to privacy, fast."

I yanked the door open and ran down the stairs at an insane speed. Behind me, I could hear Jake groan and give up on his warning speech. The driveway was empty and the wall clock declared that it was late afternoon. I had slept for thirteen hours…

"Come on!" I challenged Jake from the front porch. I dashed to the mailbox and back. It took me less than three seconds to cover the forty feet. "Let's go cliffdiving!"

"Why not?" Jacob laughed.

"Race you to the beach!" I challenged.

Jake grinned. "You are _so_ on!"


	2. Chapter 2

_I feel alive when you're beside me—_"Time of Dying"

"And I'm getting out by myself this time!" I told him. "Although, I admit, you earned three years for pulling me out." He nodded, faking seriousness. I leaned over the edge of the cliff, looking at the water below. Somehow it didn't seem as appealing as it had five minutes earlier, looking at the incredibly long drop that I had jumped not to long ago.

"What, too cold for you?" Jacob questioned, smirking. It still looked bitterly cold, but it didn't bother me this time. That is, I was aware of the temperature—but somehow it didn't effect me anymore. I felt fine.

"No," I countered, steeling myself, not turning around, "I'm just… savoring the moment, this first time jumping as a werewolf. There's no way I'd just leap." I heard footsteps, and turned around just in time to see Jake grab my hand as he charged forward, dragging me with him. A split second later we were tumbling off the cliff.

"Way!" He yelled as we plummeted.

"I'm drowning you when we hit the bottom!" I screamed back, this time spreading my arms and legs like a skydiver. Unlike a skydiver, I had several hundred feet to fall instead of several thousand. The water rushed up to meet us and I collided with a painful crash. I kicked a few times and my head was above the surface. The currents were still tugging at me, but I shrugged them off and swam back to shore with relative ease.

This time, I wasn't looking for him. He didn't appear, either, leaving me in peace. My feet touched the bottom and I waded onto the small beach below the cliffs. Jacob splashed ashore a few seconds after me, still laughing.

"That was not funny!" I retorted, trying to keep a straight face.

"It was hilarious!" He countered, grinning. I sighed dramatically and looked away.

"So, we can't run on water?" I asked, glancing over at the waves.

"Nope." Jake shook head. "And I'd avoid touching silver if I were you. Just brushing up to it gives us nasty rashes."

"I'll have to get rid of a few things." I acknowledged. "Any other downsides?"

"Hey, it's a tiny price for what you get in exchange." Jake replied, raising his eyebrows. "And we get to eat normal food, unlike them." I knew what _them_ he was referring to.

"Oh yeah, normal food, that's a big advantage." I teased. "So, are we bulletproof?"

"Mostly." He said, stressing the word. "Small things, like handguns, rifles, shotguns, we can heal from that pretty quickly. It doesn't even hurt much. Big stuff, like heavy machine guns or explosives—we haven't tried, and don't plan to."

"I'll make sure to avoid getting in fights with any tanks or helicopters." I replied with fake seriousness. "Thanks for the heads up." Something dawned on me. "Wait. We heal quickly from gunfire? How exactly did you guys find that out?"

"We, uh, drew straws." Jake admitted, embarrassed. "Paul was the test dummy." I burst out laughing at the mental picture.

"So you guys took turns shooting Paul?" I asked, almost falling over laughing. "Oh man! Teenage boys, they act the same whether immortal or not!"

"It was important we know!" Jake tried brushing it off. "Just in case!"

* * *

_The following weekend…_

I dreaded that moment for days. I had done nothing wrong, but I couldn't shake the guilt creeping up into my gut.

"Bella, it's Alice!" Charlie hollered up to my room. I knew who it was. I could smell her, as Jacob had before. The wonderful scent was gone, replaced by a burning chemical-like odor. I hate to admit it, but it slightly reminded me of the sickly smell of vomit. A quivering sensation rose up in my chest. I unhappily remembered Jake's warning—I hadn't phased yet, but the presence of a vampire could very easily trigger it. _Calm down!_ _This isn't Victoria! It's Alice!_

"Be right down!" I yelled, ducking into the upstairs bathroom long enough to grab a cup and fill it halfway with water. I trotted down the stairs, carefully holding the glass in my right hand.

"Bella, how are you dear?" Alice asked cheerfully; my scent hadn't hit her yet.

"I'm great." I replied honestly, smiling despite the tremors in my limbs… and she got a whiff of me. Her expression flickered, doubt and shock flashing across her face. The shaking nearly doubled and I gulped the water, then pretended to choke on it. Charlie looked alarmed at my coughing and approached, ready to pat me on the back. I waved him off, real fear sweeping through me.

"I'm fine." I managed to cough out. "I'm just gonna step out for some air." _And privacy._ My meaning wasn't lost on Alice. Charlie nodded.

"Don't choke yourself." He warned, returning to the shotgun he was cleaning. He had been using it on his 'wolf hunts' and, from what I had heard, ended up shooting a few rattlesnakes on the hike.

"What did he do to you?" Alice demanded as soon the door shut behind us. I forced myself to be calm, knowing exactly who the "he" was that she was referring to.

"He made me strong enough to protect my father and myself." I told her, unable to keep the triumph out of my voice. "I'm part of the pack now. I'm not helpless anymore, and I never will be again."

"I don't believe this…" Alice muttered to herself. "Do you know what this will do to Edward?" I had anticipated that question, but it still hurt, badly. I wasn't over him yet, not entirely.

"He'll live." I shot back, surprising myself with my coldness. "Let me ask you something, Alice. Do you know what it was like, for me, being around Edward?" She opened her mouth to speak, but I cut her off. "I was a fragile little human, and he was an all-powerful immortal. I felt so… so incredibly inept. Trying to win his favor, elicit some sign of happiness or approval from him." Alice looked somewhat exasperated. "When I'm around Jake, I'm at peace. I don't have to worry about matching up or winning his approval. I'm his equal, and he adores me for who I am."

"I understand that, but there's a big difference between hanging around werewolves and becoming one of them!" Alice hissed. "How'd he convince you to do this? What did he tell you?"

"I asked him to. It was my decision entirely." I replied, trying to stay calm, to stay in control. The shaking was getting worse. I stumbled over to the edge of the porch and leaned against the railing, breathing rapidly.

"You can't even control yourself now." Alice whispered, as if horrified at me. "What have you done?"

"I've taken charge of my life." I told her, breathing deeply and trying to relax. She gave me a doubtful look and I shrugged. "It's just… taking a little while to get used to it. Are we still friends?"

"The better question is are you really Bella?" Alice snapped back. "Ever since we got back from Italy, you've been a different person."

"People change. I changed." I told her. "I heard the screams of several dozen people being murdered. That has a way of… maturing a person."

"The Volturi... " Alice muttered a few angry words in another language. "This will be a problem." I groaned, remembering. Promises had been made to them that I would be turned into a vampire. **I** had broken those promises, but the Cullens were also liable for my actions.

"They can't sense me. I'm immune to their powers." I ventured hopefully. "I could feign my death, or relocate…"

"Don't kid yourself." Alice warned. "They'll be checking up on us in a few months and won't be easily fooled."

"I don't know, okay?" I admitted. "We'll come up with a plan. Next week."

"Famous last words." Alice sighed, suddenly looking exhausted. She rubbed her eyes, as if she couldn't bare to look at me. "Why, Bella?"

"Because… I have to." I replied slowly. "I can't just turn my back and walk away." I half-wondered if I had heard that line in a movie. "Alice… before, it was different. Bad things happen to good people, but there _was_ nothing I could do about it. Knowing about vampires and werewolves… it changed that. Now there's no excuse. Now, I can do something about it."


	3. Chapter 3

_Are they themselves to blame, the misery, the pain? Didn't we let go, allowed it, let it grow?_--"Solemn Hour"

It was something I had anxiously been waiting for, like a time bomb in the back of my mind. I remember the things that used to stress me out a year earlier. Now, I worry about vampires trying to kill me, about people discovering that werewolves are real… somehow, being immortal makes the threat of danger much greater. Dying as a human teenager would have lost maybe sixty years of life; dying as a young werewolf would mean the loss of centuries, if not millenniums. Jake had explained that as long as we regularly shifted into wolves, the aging process froze for us.

I intended to do a lot of shifting—but not that day. It had been almost an entire week since Jake had turned me into a werewolf, but I still hadn't gone down to La Push for training. I hadn't shifted yet, although I came close when Alice visited.

My senses had become incredibly strong, though. I finished my last class, turned in the paper, and left, nodding goodbye to the professor. School was so very different now, with my new ears and nose. I could hear everything going on around me with amazing clarity, and smell… not only could I detect the slightest odors, I could smell emotions and tell exactly how people were feeling without even having to look at them. Tired, cheerful, nervous…. 'excited' while being around a special other. I cringe, wondering what the pack smelled on me at Emily's when Jake finally came back from slugging it out with Paul.

I literally glanced around and looked for someone doing chemical work when I first caught wind of her. The wolf instincts in my mind came to life at the scent. **Victoria.** She was near. I scanned the rooftops, the parking lot, near the cars… nothing. I ran through my options. Charlie had a fair amount of shotguns and pistols at home, but I doubted any would be useful against a vampire. I could go back inside and call Jacob, but it would take the pack time to get here. She might grown hungry in the meantime and snack on a fellow student, and she'd probably hear the pack coming before they were close enough.

Which meant I had to do with myself. I strode to my truck, trying to look normal. The door creaked open, and I chucked my jacket in, then my backpack. I hid the keys under the mat and left the passenger side door unlocked. I was parked off from the other cars. With any luck, no one would notice that it wasn't locked. Fear started seized me. I pushed the door shut and held my hand next to it for a moment noticing the shaking running through my arm.

"God help me." I prayed. I set off for the woods near the school, hoping that she would think I just was hiking. The edge of the forest loomed, and it took all my willpower not to run back and leave. It had to be done.

The forest felt different this time, walking through it as a werewolf. I could sense the living creatures around me, and I could hear everything as I strained for the faintest sound that would tell me where she was. She had followed—I could smell her. I picked up my pace and ran lightly up a small hill, scaling a boulder at the top. I stood up on it, hoping that if she was going to attack she would just—

—the air rushed my lungs as I was slammed into a tree. Her cold hands were on my back and neck, like icy pieces of steel.

"You didn't think I had forgotten about you, did you now?" She hissed. A small part of my mind was surprised at her voice, which sounded disturbingly like a child's. Pain screamed through my limbs and I suddenly plummeted to the ground, released. My cloths ripped loudly as my limbs exploded outwards, becoming massive and strong. I fell forward, landing on my front hands, now my front paws. A tail sprouted out from the base of my spine, and my head reshaped, rows of enormous teeth sprouting up in my mouth as my spine adjusted itself. Fur sprouted from my skin, and the agonizing pain died away as the transformation finished. I opened my eyes, seeing the world differently. Incredible power surged through my body. Movement flickered above me, and I instinctively charged after it, not willing to let her escape. Formerly vampires had seemed impossibly fast; now I could keep up with them. She bounded over trees and doubled back, trying to lose me in vain.

_Bella! What's happening? _A 'voice' suddenly asked in my head. It dimly sounded like Paul.

_I found her, I'm after her! It's Victoria!_ I replied, briefly surprised, then remembering the telepathy Jake had told me about.

_Stay on her! I'll get the pack, we'll be there as soon as we can! _He shouted, alarmed. I continued my insane chase, tearing after her.

* * *

I don't want to remember what happened next. It was the right thing to do, I know. It did have to be done… but it was still awful. Justice is a gruesome thing. It's no wonder that soldiers and police have nightmares after killing people. Victoria wasn't even a human being, and the memory still makes me feel like throwing up.

It was Sam who found me, almost two hours later. I was shivering and naked, on the ground, leaning against an old maple tree. I could hear and smell him coming, so this time it didn't surprise me when the huge black wolf suddenly appeared. I felt both relieved and humiliated at seeing the Alpha. I should have been able to get home, I shouldn't have needed help… he sniffed around for a few moments, then de-morphed.

"Bella." He approached and crouched to my eye level, showing no awkwardness at our lack of clothing. "Are you alright? What happened?"

"I'm okay." My voice emerged as a near-whisper. "I'm just so cold…" A flicker of unease crossed his face. He gently took my chin in his hand and turned my head, checking my neck for wounds.

"Exhaustion." He said, relieved. "You must not have been eating enough to keep your strength up. Where is Victoria? You phased back and we couldn't hear you anymore."

I pointed. "She's over there, about thirty yards." I told him.

"Wait here, I'll be right back." He told me. I nodded, and he phased into a wolf, heading in the direction I pointed. He returned about a minute later, having verified the kill with his own eyes.

"Good work. We have to get back to Forks, though." Sam informed me, his tone strong and encouraging. "We're in Idaho."

"I can't phase." I confessed. "I tried. I'm too tired."

"You have to." He told me. "We can't stay here." I didn't move. His patience started to wear thin.

"Stand up. Now." Sam ordered firmly. I suddenly found the strength to rise. He nodded his approval and stepped back. "Phase." It took a few moments, but I managed to force myself to change. My fragile body vanished under the wolf's massive frame, and then it was done. Sam waited a moment, then shifted as well.

_I know the way back. We'll take it slow if you need to,_ he said, not unkindly.

_Lead on,_ I replied. We started the long hike back, leaving behind the debris of the fight and Victoria's corpse.


	4. Chapter 4

_Can't you feel my heart beat fast? I want this to last! Need you by my side.—_"Every time We Touch"

"Don't get me wrong. That was some good work, getting rid of that leech by yourself," Embry began, "but was **this** really necessary?" I took another huge bite of the beef sandwich and leaned over Embry's shoulder, looking at the computer.

"We spoke with several wildlife experts at the Washington State Zoo, and they confirmed that there is never been a confirmed sighting of wolves this size." The reporter declared. The image switched to a recording, taken from what looked like a motel window. "As of yet, no one has been able to explain how this is possible." A car screeched, and an enormous wolf suddenly charged across the road and through a parking lot. I stared. The wolf was enormous—a little smaller than Sam or Jake, admittedly, but still huge. Instead of their dark colors, though, it had a gray and white coat.

"Is that me?" I questioned, amazed at the sight. "Is that what I look like?" Jake walked over and studied the image.

"Yeah, that's you." He confirmed. "What were you doing running through town like that?"

"Playing tag." I smacked his shoulder. "Chasing Victoria, genius! What else would I be doing?"

"Who would dare to explain anything you do?" Paul joked, sitting at the kitchen table with Jared and Sam. "If they ever start handing out awards for strangest girl alive, I'll make sure you get it."

"Haha. You should be a comedian." I said dryly. "I'm going to die laughing." The phone suddenly rang, and Jake snatched it up.

"Black residence." He said politely. "Yes, actually, she is." He paused. "Sure." I groaned and accepted the phone when he held it out.

"Hi!" I tried to put a cheerfulness in my voice.

"Bella! Where have you been?" He was practically growling. "I expect you home five hours ago! I was checking with all your friends, they had no clue where you were! I called the school, they said you left but your truck was still there!"

"Dad… I'm sorry." I apologized, thinking rapidly. "Jake dropped by the school and we were hanging out. Friday partying and all. I forgot to call."

"Really?" Charlie asked, sounding completely unbelieving. "I called Billy several hours ago, he didn't say anything about it." I swore silently. Just my luck.

"Ask Sam, or Jared. They both ran into us," I lied further. "Actually, Sam's here right now, helping Billy with something. Would you like to talk to him?" Charlie fell quiet, thinking.

"No, it's alright. Just call me next time, okay? Hours go by, and I don't know if you're kidnapped or in a theater." He sounded more relieved than angry, which meant that he either bought it or decided it wasn't worth pressing right now. "When will you be home?"

"About an hour and a half." I promised, leaving myself plenty of time. "See you then."

"Bye." The phone clicked off. I set it down, letting a long breath out.

"He thinks I'm lying," I groaned, "what a mess. He doesn't believe me."

"Smart guy." Paul remarked. I gave him a death glare, earning a laugh from Embry and Jared.

"It won't have to happen again." Sam commented. "You killed the final leech in the area. We shouldn't have anymore work for some time."

"Let's hope so." I said, glancing at the clock on the wall. "I should really get home."

"I'll drop you off at the school." Jacob volunteered, as I expected he would.

"Thanks." I meant it. I headed to the front door.

"Bella." I turned at the sound of my name. Sam looked mostly calm, but I could see the traces of worry in his face.

"That was good work, but in the future, you need to demonstrate much more… discretion." Sam addressed me. "We've already had far too much press coverage as it is."

"Understood." I replied seriously. "It won't happen again."

* * *

I stopped, finding myself reaching for the seatbelt. Old habits die hard, I guess.

"Do I really need this anymore?" I asked Jake. He laughed when he saw what I was referring to.

"Not really." He started up the car. "But they give tickets if you don't wear it. And your dad is a cop."

"Doesn't matter." I released the belt and sank back into the seat. "It's too dark for anyone too notice." Jake wasn't wearing his, either. The bumpy country roads became the highway, and I was getting drowsy. I had run several hundred miles, Victoria had tried to kill me, I had eaten nine sandwiches and a quart of milk once Sam and I got back to La Push…

"I'm sorry." Jake spoke out of the blue. I blinked a few times and straightened, waking back up. The scenery had changed, making me wonder how long I had been asleep.

"For what?" I asked back, of course.

"You shouldn't have had to go through that alone." He replied sorrowfully. "No one should have to." I was silent for a few moments, wondering if hugging him would make him feel better.

"You're not my babysitter, Jake. You're not around all the time and you can't be. I know that." I felt unsure of what to tell him. "It's like what that crazy monkey from The Lion King said. 'It does not matter! It's in the past!' "

"It does matter." Jake replied quietly. "It's in the past, but it still affects the present."

"Oh, yes, the past can hurt." I told him, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder and mimicking the crazy monkey's accent the best I could. "But the way I see it, you can either run **from** it—or, **learn** from it!"

Jake didn't reply, but I thought I saw a smile tugging at his lips. I decided to change the topic.

"Let's have some music." I leaned forward and began fiddling with the stereo, trying to find the 'on' button. Jake glanced at me.

"Third from the right." He directed.

"Oh." I tapped the button, and the radio came to life.

"— we have all your jewelry needs in a—" _click._

"—what's really amazing is that he actually—" _click._

"—you're the only one, I'd be with until the end," a female singer proclaimed. "When I come undone, you bring me back again. Back under the stars! Back into your arms!" Jake sighed in exasperation at the music. I grinned and joined the radio.

"And I don't wanna fall to pieces, I just wanna sit and stare at you!" I sang in unison. "I don't wanna talk about it! And I don't want a conversation, I just wanna cry in front of you!"

"You're feeling energetic." Jake remarked. "How much coffee did you have?"

"It's those sandwiches," I shot back, "Billy's a good cook."

"Those were from the deli." Jake informed me. I sighed dramatically.

"You just don't appreciate good food like I do." I said playfully.

"Oh, and you're an expert?" Jake countered, teasing.

"Totally." I said, seriously. "A master chef, you know? That's what I was going to be."

"And now you're a monster like us." Jake said, feigning sadness. "A lost career."

"Tragic, I know." I agreed. "I should get over it in a few hundred years. Ha, I'll have a hundred 18th birthdays to think about it."

"Going to stay a teenager forever?" Jake asked curiously. "I would think you'd at least get to your 20's before stopping."

"Hey, once gone, never retrieved." I said. "What's wrong with being a teen for a century or so?"

"You lose five years for immaturity." Jake said, shaking his head. I whacked his arm and resumed my duet with the end of the song.

"And I don't want a conversation, I just wanna cry in front of you. And I don't wanna talk about it, 'cause I'm in love with you!" I proclaimed. "I'm in love with you!" Jake swung the car into the school parking lot and into the space next to mine. I sighed. I would have preferred a way longer drive.

"And now you send me home to my doom." I bantered as I got out of the car.

"There's not really much I can do about your dad." Jake said. "I'd suggest you sneak in, though." He gestured to my clothes. That is, he gestured at _his_ set of clothes that _I_ was wearing.

"Oh… yeah." Jake's meaning dawned on me. I hadn't thought about it. "He'd probably think we were—"

"Most people would." Jake pointed out. "Hey, you could tell him you caught on fire and your clothes burnt off."

"He's touchy about that sort of thing." I said, ignoring the joke. "I'll have too run upstairs, or stay in the shadows or something." I checked my truck and verified that my stuff hadn't been messed with. It was all there, much to my relief. "Hold on." I put my jacket on, zipped it up, then held by backpack low, covering my bare feet and my knees.

"Good luck." Jake said doubtfully. He turned to leave, then paused, looking back. "Hey, on the off chance that he doesn't ground you for the weekend, want to try dirt biking again tomorrow, say, noon?"

"Sure!" I was grinning. "I'll bring a pizza."

"It's a date." Jake smiled.

"Got that right." I said. He waited a beat, and I impulsively stepped forward and embraced him. "See ya tomorrow."


	5. Chapter 5

_Please forgive me for the sorrow,_

_For leaving you in fear,_

_For all the dreams we had to silence,_

_That's all they'll ever be._

—"The Hand of Sorrow"

A tinge of sadness rose in my chest as I saw Jacob drive off. The rest of the day wouldn't be very fun. Charlie would be ticked when I got home, and more so if he discovered I was wearing Jake's clothes. I might have to come up with some elaborate lies… I briefly considered stopping on the way home and renting a movie to watch, to help keep my mind off the day's unpleasant events. I shed the jacket and chucked it and the backpack into the passenger seat. I was about to get in when I felt the air shudder behind me, a faint whisper. I froze for a moment, unsure.

"I didn't think I would see you again." I finally brought myself to say as I turned to face him. A nervous quiver ran through my limbs, the wolf side of me threatening to surface.

"Disappointed?" Edward asked quietly, his face as unreadable as ever. I shook my head.

"Just surprised." I tried to sound normal. "How much did Alice tell you?"

"Everything." He said flatly. "Why, Bella?" I hesitated, knowing what he meant.

"Well, I didn't have that much of a choice, did I?" I shrugged. "Considering everything. Hide as a human, become a servant to the Volturi, or join the pack."

"We always have choices, as long as we are still alive." Edward cut through my lame excuse. "You begged Alice to turn you on the plane, then you have a werewolf bite you after returning. Immortality? Is that simply what you wanted?"

"It-it wasn't just about immortality." I denied. "I can't just forget about what happened there. All those people, murdered. And it's over here, too. Victoria, Laurent… how many people do you think they've killed, just in the last year? Without those like me, like Jake, what chance do innocent people have against the likes of them?"

"You plan to destroy the Volturi?" Edward asked darkly. "They have hunted your kind to near extinction."

"We can't take them on right now, no." I said, trying to sound even. "But we have time. We'll get stronger. And there's plenty of things for us to do in the meantime."

"You may not have as much time as you think." Edward countered. "Have you forgotten what happened in Italy? They will soon be looking for you, and if they find you, they** will kill you. **Your actions have not only endangered your life, but the lives of your pack as well."

"Yeah…" I knew that all too well. "I was thinking we could—"

"Don't!" Edward interrupted me. "I am the last person you should be discussing your plans with. That is between you and your pack now." His anger hurt, but it didn't feel like the crushing blows it would have been a few weeks earlier. He had a point, as well. If the Volturi found him, they could read everything he had seen and heard.

"Sorry, for everything." I meant it. "Do we have to be enemies now?"

"I could never be your enemy." Edward said quietly, with a hint of tenderness. "But the time has come for us to part, for both our sakes. You will never see us again."

"I… I'll never forget you," I managed to say. He was serious. The Cullens were leaving, going into hiding…

"Nor I, you." He replied softly. "Farewell, dear Bella."

With that, he vanished, just as quickly as he had appeared.

* * *

I drove home in complete silence. Charlie's vehicle was there, to my mild displeasure. I made sure that the coat and backpack were as concealing as possible before going in.

"Hi!" I announced as I walked in. The smell of frying bacon hit me when I opened the door.

"Hey, Bella." Charlie greeted me back from the kitchen. "How was your day?"

"Hmm… it was okay, then got really bad, then got okay, then got pretty good, then got so-so." I summarized. "Yours?"

"Fine, fine." Charlie said, sounding slightly preoccupied. "How's everyone in La Push?"

"They're good. Doing better." _Now that I killed the vampire that's been bugging them._ I headed upstairs to change my cloths. Two minute later I was properly dressed. I paused before heading back downstairs, and made sure to hide Jake's clothes out of sight.

"So, anything interesting happen?" I asked, getting a cup of water.

"Well, there was another wolf sighting. Right outside Idaho." Charlie was assembling a sandwich with the bacon. "On camera. One of them just charged through a small town."

"Huh." I said. "Well, I guess we don't have to worry about them around here anymore. If they're in Idaho."

"Maybe, maybe not. I still want you to stay out of the woods." Charlie headed me off. "Just to be careful."

"Okay…" I agreed. It didn't matter whether he said yes or no, really. "I was thinking about visiting Renee sometime." I regretted it the moment I had spoken—it would be pointless. The Volturi wouldn't wander around, then leave if they couldn't find me. I was a human that was both immune to their powers and knew where to find them; they would hunt me down if needed. If they found Charlie, they would read his mind, piece together what he knew, and eliminate the pack. I excused myself and went upstairs, trying to think of what to do.

Charlie and I would have to fake our deaths, and the easiest route would be to make it look like the wolves had gotten us. A wave of depression hit me. I didn't want to have to leave. Leave Forks, leave Jacob and the pack, leave my life… I idly considered googling 'how to get a fake id.' As much as I would like to deny it, Edward was right. We couldn't take down the Volturi, not with a pack consisting of six wolves. I would have to turn my father, if I wanted him to survive. _Oh, that'll be fun._ I considered how I would tell him. _Hey, Dad? I'm not really a human anymore. I can turn into a wolf the size of a horse and I'll live centuries if I want to. _

Best case scenario was that I obtain Sam's permission, turn my father, and the two of us fake our deaths and vanish. We would have successfully cheated death, for now. Worst case scenario was… well, basically the opposite of that.

We could fake our deaths and run, that part wouldn't be too hard. Our cash was lacking, but with werewolf abilities it wouldn't be too hard to obtain more, if things became desperate.

Then what?


End file.
